Episodes American Broadcasting Company September 14, 2002 and November 15, 2003
|Season||Episodes||Originally aired USA|
|First aired||Last aired|
|1||13||September 14, 2002||May 17, 2003|
|2||13||September 20, 2003||November 15, 2003|
Season 1 (2002 2003) American Broadcasting Company September 14, 2002 and May 17, 2003
|Episodes American Broadcasting Company||Title||Directed by||Written by||Original air date
|101||The new school toilets have been vandalised. Suspicion falls on Randall the Vandal, but he's innocent. Fillmore is surprised to discover the real culprit.||"To Mar a Stall"
|Christian Roman||Eddie Guzelian||September 14, 2002|
|X Middle School's bathroom renovation project teeters on the brink of disaster as the new tagger "STAINLESS" strikes at will. Out of leads, Fillmore and Ingrid turn to Randall “the Vandal” Julian, another tagger called "FLAVA SAVA," currently in solitary detention. His help puts them back on the trail, but Randall escapes, forcing Fillmore and Ingrid to catch both "STAINLESS" and "FLAVA SAVA" before they strike again.
Guest starring Mae Whitman, Kurtwood Smith, and Josh Peck
Randall Julian is a parody of Dr. Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs, which the episode shares many similarities with. Parodied crimes: vandalism/serial killing Series Premiere
|102||The school's Satty test papers have been stolen, before going to Washington for marking. It's up to Fillmore and Ingrid to discover the culprit and the reason for the theft.||"Test of the Tested"||Christian Roman||Scott M. Gimple||September 21, 2002|
|The student body is in an uproar when the controversial S.A.T.T.Y. 9 tests are stolen by an assailant dressed as X's beloved mascot, Lobstee the Lobster. The suspected thieves are a student who panicked during the test or Enid Quintara, the outspoken anti-S.A.T.T.Y 9 activist. Fillmore and Ingrid are under pressure – they have only 48 hours to find the tests or Principal Folsom will have the entire school retake the tests.
Guest starring Kyle Gass and Frankie Muniz Parodied crimes: theft
|103||A library theft leads Ingrid to a shocking secret about Cornelius. Voices include Orlando Brown, Wendie Malick, Horatio Sanz and Jeff Probst.||"A Wurm in Our Midst"||Christian Roman||Scott M. Gimple||September 28, 2002|
|The Library's books have disappeared, and Tony Clementina, X Middle School's local heavy, is all too eager to take credit for it. Meanwhile, an empty bottle rocket made from a can of Carbee Cola leads Ingrid back to the biggest custard spill in X Middle School history, an incident that disturbingly points to Fillmore from back during his days as a delinquent.
Guest starring Frankie Muniz Parodied crimes: theft, frameup, counterfeiting, extortion
|104||The school mascot, Lobstee, has been stolen. The authorities ask school psychic Alastair to help find it, but Fillmore and Ingrid are determined to find the culprit themselves.||"Cry, The Beloved Mascot"||Christian Roman||Matthew Negrete||October 5, 2002|
|Someone has stolen X Middle School's beloved mascot Lobstee the Lobster. Time is running out for both Lobstee and the Bocce Team, and the key to finding him before time runs out might be X's resident psychic, Alistair Greystone. It is up to Alistair and the Safety Patrol find Lobstee before it is too late.
Parodied crimes: attempted assassination of a political leader and kidnapping, as well as the use of psychics in law enforcement.
|105||Ingrid goes undercover in girls' group the Red Robins, to try to find the vault where they hide stolen candy. But she fits in really well, and soon finds she has split loyalties.||"Red Robins Don't Fly"||Christian Roman||Madellaine Paxson||October 12, 2002|
|During an undercover sting operation, boxes of band candy were accidentally discovered in the lake. The candy is traced back to the Red Robins – seemingly a school club in the same manner as Girl Scouts who make record sales of their award-winning taffy. In reality, the Robins strong arm their competition (stealing candy and cookie dough, cheating in selling taffy, messing up signs of competitors), and the Safety Patrol have been trying to catch them in the act for a long time. Ingrid goes undercover as a Red Robin, but she fits the role all too well and becomes the prime contender for becoming the leader of the Robins when Malika, the current leader, graduates. Fillmore discovers that Malika used to be Vallejo's partner who also infiltrated the Robins, but was seduced and overcome by darker purposes. Ingrid must locate the secret Vault of stolen goods and shut down the Robins for good, or turn to darker purposes as Malika did.
Guest starring Mae Whitman Parodied crimes: The Mafia and the dangers of undercover operations.
|106||Fillmore and Ingrid are relegated to convention duty after they ruin the Principal's surprise birthday party. All the trains at a model train convention crash and they must find the saboteur.||"Next Stop, Armageddon"||Christian Roman||Laura McCreary & Mark Myers||November 2, 2002|
|After accidentally destroying Folsom's birthday party Fillmore and Ingrid are asked to do convention duty. But the train convention experienced sabotage, leaving the entire convention ruined. Fillmore and Ingrid first suspect the RC Car club to be behind it; however Oscar, the best model railroad engineer at X, seems to be coping extremely well to the tragedy. He is suspected of being the saboteur.
Parodied crimes: sabotage
|107||Fillmore's fellow safety patrol officer Ingrid helps him to find Duappy, the longest surviving virtual pet, which belongs to Everett. Duappy is due to be the subject of a TV show, but he's been stolen!||"Nappers Never Sleep"||Christian Roman||Scott M. Gimple||November 9, 2002|
|Duappy, a virtual pet – the virtual pet kept alive the longest – has been stolen, and it is up to Fillmore and Ingrid to find X's pride and joy before a reporter comes to X to do a story on Duappy and before Duappy dies. However, Duappy may have been stolen not to harm, but to help.
Guest starring Caroline Rhea, Steven Weber, and Mary Hart Parodied crimes: kidnapping
|108||Fillmore tells how Ingrid became his colleague. It turns out she was accused of various crimes, and worked with Fillmore to prove her innocence.||"Ingrid Third, Public Enemy #1"||Christian Roman||Scott M. Gimple||November 16, 2002|
|Fillmore's partner moves away to Tennessee, and he is partnered up with Brad Parnassus, the smartest kid at X Middle School. Rebellious and super-smart new student Ingrid Third does not take her introduction to X student body well at all, and a giant stink bomb explodes in the hallways. The case turns out not to be as simple as it orignally seemed. Note: the episode is largely told in flashback and thus mostly takes place before the series' start.
Guest starring John Rhys-Davies Parodied crimes: Detonating an explosive device in a public area, chemical terrorism, and frameup
|109||The Safety Patrol gets a tip about a plot to steal a test, so Fillmore camps out overnight at school. He's snowed in and the thieves force him to hand it over. But will they cheat?||"A Cold Day at X"||Christian Roman||Eddie Guzelian||November 23, 2002|
|Mrs. Cornwall's Pre-Algebra final exam looks like it is going to be a tough one; however, four of her students have decided to take more extreme measures beyond studying. Fillmore sleeps over in the school to safeguard the exam, but an unexpected blizzard and officer Third's head cold leaves him standing alone to face a desperate gang of determined exam thieves.
Guest starring Holland Taylor Parodied crimes: burglary and taking of hostages, along with Die Hard's "lone cop vs. gang of villains" plot
|110||A painting is damaged with a marker, and Fillmore and Ingrid have just 20 minutes to find which kind of pen was used before the ink dries and the painting's ruined.||"Masterstroke of Malevolence"||Christian Roman||Madellaine Paxson||February 15, 2003|
|Mrs. Lawson's field trip to the Modern Contemporary Natural History, Art, Science and Miniature Museum takes a horrifying turn as someone draws a mustache on the priceless painting "The Lobster Man at Port". Fillmore, Ingrid, and O'Farrell work to find the culprit and save the painting, but the time is running out and everyone is a suspect.
Guest starring Mae Whitman, Richard Riehle, Kristin Chenoweth, and Steven Weber Parodied crimes: vandalism and substance abuse
|111||Scooters are being stolen from school and Fillmore investigates. He hears the Metal Shop may be taking them to raise money for a dog's operation, but suspects a different culprit and motive.||"Two Wheels, Full Throttle, No Breaks"||Christian Roman||Laura McCreary & Mark Myers||February 22, 2003|
|Scooter thefts are up, and the Safety Patrol faces a challenge from student activist Derek Minna, who establishes B.A.G.A.S.T. (Boys And Girls Against Scooter Theft), a scooter and rollerblade equipped task force that he intends to ultimately replace the safety patrol. Fillmore and Ingrid trace the thefts to the Metal Shop and infiltrate the gang. They discover the mysterious "Stingray," and who has plans for the stolen scooters.
Parodied crimes: motor vehicle theft, with many of the scenes of the episode parodying the film Gone in 60 Seconds
|112||The big chess competition is coming up, and Fillmore must guard the school's champion Checkmatey as threats have been made against him.||"Of Slain Kings on Checkered Fields"||Christian Roman||Eddie Guzelian||May 10, 2003|
|X Middle School's best hope to break a losing streak in the chess tournament is Checkmatey, a flamboyant rapper who is X's finest chess player. Unfortunately, somebody is out to get him. The suspects are Tyson Pelarez, leader of the Society of the Preservation of Ethics in Chess, or Nelson Kelloch, Checkmatey's biggest rival. Fillmore and Ingrid are on the case – but the clock is ticking down to the championship match and Checkmatey is nowhere to be found.
Guest starring Daveigh Chase Parodied crimes: attempted murder, kidnapping, gambling, and drinking
|113||While investigating an exam paper theft, Fillmore's bike is sabotaged. He tries to find both culprits, but ends up coming under suspicion himself.||"A Forgotten Yesterday"
|Christian Roman||Eddie Guzelian||May 17, 2003|
|The heat is on from Student Council Representative Peabody to find a stolen case of computer disks holding information on term papers off the street, but the perps always seem one step ahead of the Safety Patrol. After a botched raid and the sabotage of his bike, Fillmore turns to Sonny Lombard, his old partner from his bad-boy days. They track the disks back to Rudy Teravall, the Kingpin of Home Economics, Fillmore learns where the disks are. But just as Fillmore and Ingrid get ready to move in on Rudy's gang, Peabody gets tipped off about bootleg hall passes in Fillmore's desk. Fillmore gets suspended from the force – and has to prove that he has not gone bad again. Meanwhile Sonny appears to have a mysterious agenda.
Guest starring Marcus T. Paulk and Kathy Kinney Parodied crimes: theft and Burglary Season Finale
Season 2 (2003 2004) American Broadcasting Company September 20, 2003 and November 15, 2003
|Episodes American Broadcasting Company||Title||Directed by||Written by||Original air date
|114||Tina and Toby are the school's best dancers. A lot of valuable cards have been stolen from the pair, and Fillmore must find out who stole them and why.||"The Currency of Doubt"
|Christian Roman||Madellaine Paxson||September 20, 2003|
|Tina and Toby are the stars of the school at both dancing and smoit-collecting. Smoits are tokens found on dairy bars and packets of chips used to buy basically anything a kid could want once enough of them are saved up. The smoit stash goes missing, and Fillmore and Ingrid go undercover in X's steamy underground casino scene. They discover Toby's gambling debts, and he becomes the prime suspect, which destroys his dance partnership with Tina. However, the case is not as simple as it appears. Meanwhile, Fillmore is having a little too much trouble obsessing over his damaged sash (that is, until it dissolves in a vat of chili).
Guest starring Jason Fuchs Parodied crimes: theft and illegal gambling Season Premiere
|115||A phantom shredder is attacking the projects of pupils in the drama club; Fillmore brings in a Frank, a profiler who used to be on the patrol, to help find the culprit; Fillmore is afraid Frank himself may be involved.||"The Shreds Fell like Snowflakes"||Christian Roman||Matthew Negrete||September 27, 2003|
|Vallejo's nearing his second term test for Junior Commissioner, and in the meantime, a crime crops up involving 'The Shredder'- an anonymous criminal who shreds people's pet projects. The catch is that not a single one of the victims saw the Shredder's face. This seems like a job for Vallejo's old profiler partner, Frank Bishop, who was driven from the Safety Patrol in disgrace (due to a threatened lawsuit against the school by parents whose son was caught doing a game scam by being stopped by Frank with gazpacho, which the boy was allergic to). He deduces that the Shredder is hitting students from the Drama Club in alphabetical order – and his own sister, Francine, is next on the list. However, maybe these shredding incidents are not all they appear to be.
Guest starring Mae Whitman and Kyle Gass Parodied crimes: serial killing and conspiracy
|116||Dewey's robot dog disappears during Linus' illusionist act, and Linus gets into trouble. But Fillmore is convinced it's not his fault, and sets out to find the real villain.||"Foes Don't Forgive"||Christian Roman||Matthew Negrete||October 4, 2003|
|Reformed thug Linus Santiago impresses the crowd at the X Middle School Talent Show with his magic act. Unfortunately, his disappearing trick with Dewey Hubble's robotic dog Barcode goes horribly wrong – it will not reappear. Santiago refuses to tell the Safety Patrol how he did the trick due to the Magician's Code, but by doing so, he makes himself the prime suspect. Dewey is anxious to get it back as it is a stepping stone to getting a real dog; however, when Barcode's collar is found in the lake, all hope could be lost – for both Dewey and Santiago.
Parodied crimes: kidnapping
|117||Fillmore visits his old friend Wayne, who's now on the safety patrol at another school. But Wayne's not happy: There's corruption at the school and his place on the patrol is threatened.||"South of Friendship, North of Honor"||Christian Roman||Madellaine Paxson||October 11, 2003|
|Spring Break has arrived, so Fillmore is taking the time to visit his former partner, Wayne Liggett. In Wayne's new school, something about the Safety Patrol stinks – so much that Wayne's partner Emily had to quit. The prize pralines of the school have been stolen, and the prime suspect is Patrol Sheriff Thrift – who just so happens to be the son of their principal.
Guest starring Thomas Dekker and R. Lee Ermey Parodied crimes: police corruption
|118||Fillmore meets his old friend Penny, who's now working for a diplomat. She says her boss is involved in corruption but is hiding behind diplomatic immunity. Fillmore discovers that Penny is involved too.||"Immune to All but Justice"||Christian Roman||Eddie Guzelian||October 18, 2003|
|X Middle School has become obsessed with Canada – and the ambassador's son is staying over, along with his assistant Penny Madrid, who happens to be an old partner in crime with Fillmore. Winston Kotter, the Canadian ambassador, turned Penny around just as the Safety Patrol turned Fillmore around – but Fillmore cannot help but suspect something is up, especially as a huge supply of counterfeit baseball cards appear. Unfortunately for Fillmore, Winston has full diplomatic immunity and plans to pin the crime on Penny. Without the power to officially apprehend him, Fillmore and the Safety Patrol do not know what to do.
Guest starring Francesca Marie Smith Parodied crimes: counterfeiting and abuse of diplomatic immunity.
|119||Fillmore has to take part in a mini golf tournament to try to uncover some strange goings-on. He finds the tournament is being rigged for profit by the comic book king.||"The Nineteenth Hole is a Shallow Grave"||Christian Roman||Scott M. Gimple||November 1, 2003|
|Something is down at the X Middle School Open – professional golfers are failing at games, and foul play is suspected. Normally, Fillmore would be eager for an undercover job like this, but something in his past – something involving mini-golf – is making him hesitate.
Guest starring Thomas Dekker Parodied crimes: bribery, intimidation, match fixing, and point shaving
|120||Fillmore is trying to help Peter, a new recruit to the patrol, but he keeps making mistakes. His brother is Student Council President, and Peter is being forced to do a job he hates.||"Links in a Chain of Honor"||Christian Roman||John Cervenka & Sean Whalen||November 8, 2003|
|Rookie Officer Peter Chestnut is the latest of four brothers to join the Safety Patrol. He has a lot to live up to – his older brother Robert was a highly decorated Safety Patroller and is now the Student Council President. When a shipment of stolen X Middle School foam spirit lobster claws is tracked back to also-ran Oscar Mabini, it looks like Peter has closed his first case. But all is not what it seems, and family honor has everything to do with it.
Parodied crimes: theft and bribery
|121||The statue of a cartoon hero is defaced, and Fillmore investigates. He discovers that the culprit was a fan protesting about the standard of the scripts for the new series.||"The Unseen Reflection"
|Christian Roman||Madellaine Paxson||November 15, 2003|
|Vampirita, a series of novels about an astronaut vampire, has attracted a huge following at X – and none more so that Torrey and Terri. The next installment of the series will be released in a fortnight, and until then, fans can audition to star in the next book. Terri and Torrey start to build projects to win the auditions, but every time one is finished, it gets sabotaged. Naturally, the main suspects are two members of a rival novel's fanclub – TQ, a mysterious and riddle-talking guy with an affinity for multicultural cuisine, and Trace, a girl who never seems to be happy with the color of her hair. But evidence points to neither. It must be determined who could have enough knowledge about the projects to find the perfect way to sabotage them.
Guest starring Olivia Hack, Tanya Roberts, and Steven Weber Parodied crimes: sabotage (rival fanclubs) Series Finale