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Episodes American Broadcasting Company September 24, 2004 and June 17, 2005

Episodes American Broadcasting Company Title Directed by Written by Original air date

USA

U.S. viewers

(millions)

101 "Pilot" Mel Gibson Mike Scully & Julie Thacker September 24, 2004 6.43
When the 23rd helper quits from the Savages' house, burning their laundry in the process, all the boys want a new one. Nick says no telling the boys they need to be more responsible and clean up after themselves. To sway him, the boys make the house more disorderly than ever thanks to Jack. Meanwhile, Sam is thinking to ask Angela, his neighbour, to go to the school dance with him. The two stories join when Nick has Angela visit the house. Sam quickly rallies everyone to clean up to help him win the girl.

Series Premiere

102 "Tutoring" Mel Gibson Story by : Mike Scully

Teleplay by : Julie Thacker

October 1, 2004 5.48
The guys' grades arrive. Sam has failed PE (because he couldn't climb the rope) and Chris failed five subjects, putting his position on the football team at risk. They make an agreement with Coach McCarthy in order to fix their grades: Sam will help Chris to study and the coach will pass Sam. Chris shows no interest in his studies and Sam desists. Chris makes Angela help him to make Sam jealous. When Sam tries to attack Chris, he finally climbs the rope only to fall and hurt his "weiner", a joke found hilarious among the boys.
103 "Almost Men in Uniform" Julie Thacker Brian Scully October 8, 2004 4.90
After Nick is put on call at the fire-house he is not sure what to do about Kyle and T.J. since the rest of boys have plans to go out. He decides his only choice is to take them with him to the fire-house where they quickly become bored. Soon after their night plans fall apart; Jack, Chris and Sam have the house to themselves. Seeing their uncle getting treated like a hero with free stuff as a fireman, they decide that they want to get free things too so they dress up in their dads' firemen suits. After they get all the free stuff, they decide to go to a bar to meet girls. Sam meets a pregnant woman and she goes into labour. The boys as firemen are forced to deliver the baby on a bar table. Someone calls the fire department and Nick comes to the bar to aid the woman. He finds the boys with the baby and is furious. He soon is compassionate though when he allows the girls to continue to believe that the boys are firemen to keep the ongoing attraction.
104 "Nick Kicks Butt" Gary Halvorson Story by : Mel Gibson

Teleplay by : Steven Molaro

October 15, 2004 5.29
Nick finds out one of his sons is smoking and later discovered it is Kyle. After making a deal with Kyle that neither of them will smoke anymore, otherwise they have to run through town completely naked, Nick goes through a rough patch. He talks with his sons after trying to make Kyle quit his smoking and is asked if it is really worth it to smoke. The end scene is of Nick running along the street naked, with a cigar in his mouth.
105 "Car Jack" Robby Benson Adam Lorenzo October 22, 2004 5.82
Jack considers buying a used car with $1000. Instead he buys a red motorcycle. Nick is completely against it. But still, Jack uses it with Sam, who breaks his arm. They try to hide it, but Nick finds it out. He ties the bike to the porch. The boys try to escape, but they rip off the porch and drag it along after them. After that, TJ, Chris, Sam, and Kyle are forced to watch safety videos while Jack and Jimmy fix the porch.
106 "Free Lily" Julie Thacker Mike Scully October 29, 2004 6.24
Chris goes to school and finds out that he has to dissect the class frog. He refuses and everyone makes fun of him. He gives into peer pressure and cuts the frog. Later that night, in a dream, the frog goes to Chris's room and tells him to save the new class frog, Lilly. The rest of the Savages are planning their Halloween prank when Chris says to take the class frog. While in the class room, their dog eats Lilly.
107 "For Whom the Cell Tolls" Julie Thacker Andy Gordon November 5, 2004 6.70
Watching Sam moping around the house and staring out the window at Angela while she goes out on dates prompts Jack to take Sam to the mall to pick up girls. When Jack sets him up with a girl named Erin (Kaley Cuoco), they hit it off right away. Nevertheless, Sam becomes aggravated when Erin can not seem to put down her cell phone. Meanwhile, Chris gets a job at the mall selling paper airplane gliders. TJ and Kyle buy one. Unfortunately, they realize that they have purchased a faulty product and decide to annoy Chris in any way possible in order to get their money back.
108 "Carnival Knowledge" Daniel Stern Lissa Levin November 12, 2004 6.54
When the boys hear about a carnival in town, they all decide to go with a plan. Kyle's plan is just to act mischievous; Chris and Jack's plans are to find girls who have already eaten so they would not have to spend any money; and Sam plans to ask Angela to join him as a date (being that she recently broke up with her boyfriend). T.J. is stuck at home writing a book report; but, when he finishes, he faces a new problem when the dog literally eats his homework. The bad luck keeps spreading with the Savage boys when Chris and Jack's dates keep coming up with ways to make them spend money and Sam has to fight off his feelings for Angela when she reveals she only wants to be friends.
109 "My Two Sons" Paul Abascal Story by : Julie Thacker

Teleplay by : Donick Cary & Julie Thacker

November 19, 2004 6.74
The boys are sick of having Nick coming home early and changing the channel on them so they take his picture and sign him up for an online dating service. They find five girls Nick would like and trick him into meeting them. Nick finds out and goes to the bar where he meets another woman and asks her out. She said she only wants two kids so Nick only talks about TJ and Sam. The boys find out and follow their dad on the date and tell the girl that he has five boys.
110 "Thanksgiving with the Savages" Daniel Stern Mike Scully November 26, 2004 5.66
Sam wants to have dinner with his girlfriend Angie. He tells Nick and Nick yells but lets him go. Tradition dictates that the family watch the Three Stooges marathon and this year it is cancelled. Then Jimmy and Nick get a call from the station and have to leave and they are upset because Thanksgiving is ruined. The four boys decide to make dinner by cooking a live turkey.
111 "The Man Without a Ball" Mel Gibson Story by : Mike Scully

Teleplay by : Donick Cary

December 3, 2004 6.25
The boys play rake ball with their dad's high school basketball. The ball lands in the yard of Mrs. Agnes Riley, their neighbor. She takes the ball inside and refuses to give it to them. When she's away, the brothers sneak into the house and try to steal it. Much later, Mrs. Riley calls them and holds their dog hostage. Nick learns about what the boys did and goes over to her house. She's sleeping and the dad finds the dog with her. He tries to get the dog to fetch the basketball, but gets Mrs. Riley's artificial right leg. As Nick and the dog flee, Mrs. Riley hops on her leg and cries, "I'm comin' for you Savage! And your little dog too!" Moments later, they finally made a truce.
112 "Voodude" Shelley Jensen Steven Molaro December 10, 2004 5.31
Kyle finds himself smitten with Josie, a girl he is used to spending time with in detention, but fears having a girlfriend will turn him into a "wuss". Despite his attempts to not be "changed by a girl", he finds himself acting more and more silly around Josie. Meanwhile, T.J. and the boys are hard at work on a "destructo-boggan" which is guaranteed to knock all of the inner tubes off the slopes this year. Sam is poodle-sitting his girlfriend Angela's dog, Sally Sue, which doesn't sit well with the Savage dog.
113 "Savage XXX-mas" Julie Thacker Julie Thacker December 17, 2004 6.54
When Nick informs them that he wants them to get jobs, Sam, Chris and Jack get work at a lingerie store as stock boys. The job turns out to be a complete drag for Jack and Chris but Sam does not mind it at all. After proving he is capable of being a good employee, Sam gets promoted and leaves Chris and Jack wanting revenge. Meanwhile, Kyle and T.J. are forced to help Nick donate toys to the needy, but when they discover a game that they want is going to someone else, they themselves start to feel needy.
114 "Save a Dance for Me" Shelley Jensen Steven Molaro January 14, 2005 6.92
There is a school dance coming up and Sam and Angela are going together. The captain of the dance squad asks Chris and Jack has to teach Chris how to dance. Meanwhile Kyle and T.J. register on dumbidiots.com.
115 "Teen Things I Hate About You" Daniel Stern Brian Scully January 21, 2005 6.14
When Nick and Jimmy come home from the fire house, they find the house is full of kids. So they clear the house by playing "Afternoon Delight" on the CD player. Tired of having the boys' friends over so often, they go to a town meeting where Nick suggests that the city opens a teen center (as long as Nick is in charge). When the teen center opens, Nick becomes a busybody (breaking up makeouts, advise on playing pinball, telling Jack to turn down the amp of his electric guitar, etc.). So the boys fire their dad while Jimmy takes his place. Days later, the boys realize what dad was doing when the place is out of control (while Jimmy is making out with a mom in another room). They try to restore order, but no one will listen. So Nick enters and tells one of his sons to play a song on the jukebox. It's the same song ("Afternoon Delight") which chases the troublemakers away.
116 "Saving Old Lady Riley" Julie Thacker Mike Scully & Julie Thacker May 27, 2005 3.50
Kyle, T.J., Jack, and Chris become known as heroes when they save their next-door neighbor, Mrs. Riley, after she has a heart attack. Now they are being admired by everyone, including Nick, Jimmy and even Mrs. Riley herself and are even nominated for an award. As the boys enjoy their new-found success and rubbing it in a jealous Sam's face, someone discovers a secret that could expose the boys as frauds.
117 "Crimes and Mini-Wieners" Shelley Jensen Tom Gammill & Max Pross June 3, 2005 3.82
Chris and Kyle become involved in a food fight and when they get in trouble, they end up dragging Sam down with them. As punishment, the boys are forced to be "lunch ladies" and serve the entire school. Meanwhile, Nick has to find a babysitter for T.J. He takes Jack's suggestion and hires April, a girl that goes to school with the boys. Little does he know that Jack has another plan for April and it does not involve babysitting.
118 "Bad Reception" Bill Shea Donick Cary June 10, 2005 3.08
When Grammy Na-Na (Angela's grandmother) has her 80th birthday, all the Savages are invited. Unfortunately, they are unable to attend due a prior engagement: the Super Bowl. When Jack and the other boys see the wild Super Bowl halftime video for sale, they plead for their dad to spend the $39.95. When he refuses and runs out to get more beer, they have the genius idea of stealing the game from the cable box outside their house...needless to say, they end up at Angela's house attempting to watch the Super Bowl on the "futuristic" television they are confronted with upon arriving. Without the false pretenses that they arrive upon, Grammy Na-Na would not be able to receive "the best birthday present ever".
119 "Hot Water" Gary Halvorson Andy Gordon June 17, 2005 3.12
When Nick and Jimmy's uncle dies and leaves them money, they decide to buy a hot tub. When the boys have the opportunity to use it, they ignore Nick's rule about using it without his permission and end up in a very complicated situation. Sam is not sure what to do when he discovers the size of the gift Angela is giving him to celebrate three months together is ten times bigger than the gift he is planning to give her.

Series Finale

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